Carmela

cARMELA

fOUNDER

Hello everyone!  Firstly, I want to say if you have landed here you are clearly looking to make some changes to your life and I really believe that we can help you on the path to a healthy and happier you.

This whole platform came about after I embarked upon my journey. For years I have suffered with poor mental health and my addictive nature.   Specifically addressing my turbulent relationship with alcohol which I really believe has been going hand and hand with the depression and anxiety I have been living with since my early 20’s.

Although the setting has changed over the years from party girl who was out hitting bars and clubs, champagne flowing and never having an off switch, suffering from severe bouts of depression and a lovely eating disorder on the side, through to stressed out mum trying to juggle the pressures of a high-pressured job, being mum, a wife, a friend and being told by numerous magazines that you can have it all! (easier said than done).  A glass of ‘mummy juice’ a night (look at all the cleaver marketing by alcohol brands aimed at stressed out mums) quickly turned into a bottle a night and then some to help me ‘unwind’.

I have felt for a long time that I was slowly killing myself through the lifestyle I was living, but it was actually a friend, Sarah who was diagnosed with breast cancer a few years ago who really made me start to really address what I was doing to myself.

Sarah was in her 30’s with four gorgeous kids when she was diagnosed with breast cancer.  She made it her mission to raise awareness to all the negative things we are doing to ourselves through the lifestyle choices we make.  She documented her journey to trying to beat cancer through nutrition, alternative therapy combined with traditional treatments.  She really inspired me to start taking a deep look inside.  

Over the next few years, I started analysing my life.  I left my job to take time out to embark on a journey of self-discovery and spend more time with my son.  I started trying to kick the booze too.  I had many failed attempts, but each attempt strengthened my resolve.  But the journey was a lonely one.  I didn’t have support, I felt I couldn’t reach out to my GP for fear of being judged and my relationship with alcohol wasn’t so extreme that I needed medical detox.  AA never appealed to me, I explored it many times but was always put off.

Fast forward to July 23rd, 2020.  In the midst of a global pandemic, I attempted to kick the booze for good.  Again.  I found loads of people going sober through Instagram and started connecting with people.  This has proven my biggest means of support to date, but I really felt like there needed to be something more out there for people like me.  And so, the idea for Totiuss was born.

I approached my friend Esther who I have known for 8 years and met through work and told her of my idea.  Esther was not embarking on an alcohol-free journey at the time, but she too was going about a journey of self-discovery having left the same company as me at around the same time.  Esther fully supported my idea and after pooling together savings we set about creating something truly special and Totiuss was born.

Sadly, I found out that my incredible friend Sarah lost her battle with cancer on day 2 of my sober journey.  Rather than use this as an excuse to feel sorry for myself and reach for the bottle, I instead chose to honor her memory by creating the sort of life I want to live and to really, LIVE.  Free of the shackles of addiction and poor mental health and to help others who want to explore a fuller, happier life.  We all deserve to live the best lives possible.